


Please Makoto

by itsjusteva



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-05
Updated: 2014-02-05
Packaged: 2018-01-11 06:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1169661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsjusteva/pseuds/itsjusteva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto wants to die and Haru just wants to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Makoto

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: If you are suicidal or dealing with self-harm it's in this story so please don't read this if you'll feel affected by it.

Makoto won’t admit it to anyone, not even to Haru but recently he had been feeling depressed. Even worse, he had been feeling a bit suicidal. He would imagine taking his own life; imagine how it would impact his family and friends. Then he would imagine if he never existed, how would things be? 

The more he dwells on these thoughts the more he was itching to act on it. 

“Haru?” Makoto whispers sitting next to Haru on the poolside. Haru hums in response lightly, his body submerged in water as he rests his arms next to Makoto. The others were gone, Nagisa and Rei walking Gou home before going to the train station while Makoto and Haru decided to wait around a bit enjoying the evening in the water. 

“Have you e-ever t-thought about what the world would be like if you didn’t,” Makoto pauses for a moment casting his eyes to the pool water. “Exist.” He whispers bringing his knees up to his mouth to hide his face. 

There’s a long silence and then the sound of Haru pulling himself out of the pool and sitting next to Makoto. “What does that mean?” Haru asks. 

This time Makoto jumps into the water and hides under the water refusing to come out. Minutes pass and Makoto can feel his lungs begging for air but he refuses to resurface, that’s is until Haru pulls him out. Makoto begins to gasp for air as Haru supports him, keeping his arms around Makoto. “What are you doing!” Haru screams.

“I want to die.” Makoto admits keeping his face on Haru’s shoulder not wanting to meet the others eyes. Again another silence passes between them before Haru lifts his hands and holds Makoto closely. “I d-don’t know why.” Makoto cries digging his nails into Haru’s back. “I have e-everything, a loving f-family and amazing f-friends so why? W-why do I w-want to die?” 

Makoto is sobbing now, snot and tears streaming down his face as his body shakes in Haru’s arms. Haru is silent crying, biting his lips so he doesn’t sob as well. He knows he has to be strong for Makoto, because right now Makoto needs him. “Why H-Haru? Why am I feeling t-this way?” 

“Sometimes people feel that way Makoto.” Haru says still holding him tightly. 

“W-why?” Makoto asks. Haru smiles lightly because it reminds him of when the two were kids and Makoto was constantly asking why to everything. 

“Everyone feels that way.”

“Even you?” Makoto asks finally looking up to Haru with red-rimmed eyes. Haru bites his lip but nods. Usual he feels that way once in awhile but usually brushes it off since the moment he meets Makoto it usually fades away. 

“I should take you home.” Haru whispers. On the walk back to Makoto’s house Haru couldn’t help but think that he wasn’t enough to help Makoto’s depression. He knows it’s different for everyone, but it still bothers him. 

They arrive to Makoto’s house and Makoto offers Haru to stay, which Haru doesn’t dare decline. He wouldn’t think of leaving Makoto after what happened less then an hour ago. The Tachibana house is filled with joy, the twins filling the house with noise, the aroma of dinner being cooked in the kitchen, the sound of the news playing in the living room. It was a complete parallel from Haru’s usually silent house. 

The twins wanted to hang out with the best friend duo but Haru told them that they would play later and that they had homework to finish first. It was a lie, but they needed some silence, Makoto needed some silence. Once in Makoto’s room the boys made themselves comfortable on Makoto’s bed. “What now?” Makoto asks softly. 

“How long?” Haru asks –the question had been bothering him for the longest time now. 

Makoto chews on his lip, Haru can see the wheels turning in his brain as he goes through the timeline. “6 months.” Makoto finally answers. 

Haru nods softly and stares down at his lap, his best friend had been suffering alone for 6 months. “I tried hurting myself.” Makoto speaks up. “I’d c-cut my thighs but I couldn’t keep doing it, I thought to myself you either kill yourself or you don’t, there’s no in between.” Haru flinches at the words but Makoto let out a pained chuckle. “I-It was like teasing myself, giving myself a taste.” Makoto seems to stumbling over his words and he shakes his head running his fingers through his hair.

“Makoto stop.” Haru begs not liking the words coming out of his best friends mouth. He was so use to seeing such a carefree and kind person not someone suffering with these feelings and thoughts. 

“It’s almost like showing myself what I could have, with each cut the same thought went through my head, if I pushed a little deeper could I die?” 

“Stop.” Haru repeats. 

“Once I did press to hard and I couldn’t stop the bleeding. I eventually did and some nights I wished I just…didn’t try.” 

“Makoto please stop.” Haru cries his voice breaking as he stares at Makoto. “I don’t like you speaking that way, that’s not the way Makoto speaks.” Haru cries. 

Makoto watches as Haru begins to break down, “I-I don’t know what to do Makoto, hearing you say that hurts.” Haru says looking over to Makoto. “I think the best thing to do is tell your parents.”

Makoto freezes when he hears the threat. He begins to shake his head, as panic rises within him “No Haru please don’t tell them.” He says gripping Haru’s arm. “T-they c-can’t know I’ll j-just disappoint them a-and t-they all hate m-me and I c-can’t deal with that.” 

Haru watches as Makoto breaks down but he refuses to comfort him, he needs to tell Makoto’s parents because they will be able to help him. Haru stands up and walks to the door, “If you tell them I’ll never forgive you.” Makoto says. Haru pauses at the door and takes a shaky deep breath. “You’ll lose me Haru.” Makoto adds. 

“This is for your own good.” Haru responds exiting the room. He heads downstairs and is immediately attacked by twins. Makoto’s dad is the first Tachibana parent he sees, he tells the twins to leave Haru be and the two agree. 

“I need to speak to your Mr. Tachibana.” Haru whispers nervously. He knows that by telling Makoto’s parents about this will hinder his relationship with Makoto but he needs to do this for him, he has to.

Haru manages to gather Makoto’s parents in the dinning room and he spills everything Makoto told him earlier. From the time spent in the pool to his last fleeting moments with Makoto, and his threat. When he was finished he stared at Makoto’s parents nervously waiting for a reply, however the sound of Ran shrieking pierced their ears. “Onii-san!” Ran screams loudly. The three run upstairs where the find Ren crying outside the bathroom and Ran paralyzed by the door. 

Mrs. Tachibana is the first to see and she lets out a quiet gasp before grabbing the twins and taking them down the hall, away from the gruesome scene. Mr. Tachibana and Haru are the next, and the sight they see it’s a pretty one.

Makoto is lying on the floor, his back resting against the tub as blood oozes out his cut open wrist. Haru feels his heart rise to his throat as he backs away not wanting to see the scene anymore. You’ll lose me Haru, runs through his mind and a sudden wave of guilt washes through him. “Haru hold the towels to his wrist to stop the bleeding, I need to call an ambulance.” Mr. Tachibana screamed, bringing the boy out of his daze. 

Haru does as he’s told and holds towels to Makoto’s wrist. He stares down at Makoto, stares down at his lifeless face and it reminds him of the moment he thought Makoto had drowned in the ocean. “Please Makoto.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'll just call myself the angst writer since it's my specialty. Also I don't know if it will be two or three parts, maybe four. We'll see.


End file.
